Embarrassment and teasing

If and when you discuss this with your other children, it is important that they realise this is not something the bedwetting child should be teased about. It's important to set this ground rule in your home and to stick to it and enforce a no-teasing rule.

Make sure that the Brolly Sheet, disposable underpants etc are viewed as part of the bedding and underwear by both the siblings and the child. That way, they become acceptable and not cause for teasing. If necessary make sure that there is time to shower or bath in the morning before they go to school. The smell of urine may embarrass your child and lead to teasing.

You should also ensure your other children know that this is something personal and private and not to be discussed with other people. Something along the lines of; “We don’t tell neighbours and friends lots of things, especially things that can be embarrassing.”

However, you should prepare your child for all possibilities. We all know that children can be very cruel. If your child is afraid he's going to be teased, let him know that it may very well happen. It is better to prepare him for this and teach him ways to handle it than to pretend it will never happen. Explain to your child that many times children tease other children, and it hurts their feelings. Offer examples, such as being called “four-eyes” or “buck-tooth” – in the same way the other children can't control their differences, he can't control his.

Don’t just brush it off with a "Don't let it bother you." These are the things that bother children the most. You'd be better off saying, “Well, I can understand why that would bother you, but that's what kids do a lot of times – they tease one another and hurt each other's feelings. And that's really hard,” Your child may not feel better, but he will feel understood.

Help your child to be as normal as possible socially (allow him to go on that sleepover with his friends) by ensuring that systems are put in place to make his enuresis (bedwetting) easy to manage. Speak with the hostess and explain that he may need to be woken early, provide a Brolly Sheet and disposable underwear, an extra set of pyjamas and a packet for the soiled items. Help him to be included, so that his self esteem is not dented.

After the initial and family conversations, other bedwetting discussions should be initiated by your child. Be open to listen whenever your child wants to talk and don’t single him out or treat him differently than the other children in your home. For example, don’t greet him in the morning with “Were you wet last night?” Instead, ask him what he wants for breakfast. By not focusing on the problem, you will help your child realise that he is much more than a bedwetter.

Talk with your child about his enuresis and, more important, listen to him. By doing so, you will give him the opportunity to acknowledge and accept his condition. Then he can get on with his life.