Siblings and bed wetting
It can be a good idea to talk to other siblings as you don’t want your child (who wets the bed) to feel like it's some kind of horrible secret. Secrets can foster shameful feelings, embarrassment and make the problem more of an issue than it is. Although in saying this, you also need to understand your child’s need for privacy. If your child is overly concerned about teasing or really doesn't want his siblings to know, don't tell them.
If the child doesn’t mind the rest of family knowing about it, make sure that it is discussed openly and honestly. Make sure that
Brolly Sheets, disposable underpants, pull ups etc are viewed as part of the bedding and underwear by both the siblings and the child. That way, they become acceptable and not cause for teasing.
You should also ensure your other children know that this is something personal and private and not to be discussed with other people. Something along the lines of “We don’t tell neighbours and friends lots of things, especially things that can be embarrassing.”
Bed wetting runs in the family, just like blue eyes or curly hair. So it can be a good idea to start the conversation with “Daddy and Grandma used to wet the bed”. In most cases it is simply because the child’s bladder has not developed as quickly as the rest of his body. It is nothing the child did, and it is not something he could control - so you can compare it to wearing glasses or having an allergy. Be very straightforward and matter-of-fact about it.
If you share your memories / experiences it can be a wonderful way of creating a bond between you and your child and can make a big difference to your kids if you say, 'Hey look, when I was 8 years old, I wet the bed. Are you going to make fun of me?' Explaining how you felt as a child can help your children empathize with their sibling. Adding that their sibling is not the only child with this problem will help them see the bigger picture – there are thousands of kids around the country who suffer from this problem.
A simple way of explaining it is that everyone has different challenges in life. One child may have difficulty learning to swim, another figuring out how to ride a bike. Some people have a tough time with math; others have trouble in social situations. Your child has trouble staying dry at night.
It is important to make sure that the siblings are supportive and understanding of their brother or sister. If you show them that you are helping to take control of the situation and don’t treat their sibling any differently in the house then the bed wetting will not become the overriding issue in the home. For example, don’t greet him in the morning with “Were you wet last night?” Instead, ask him what he wants for breakfast. By not focusing on the problem, you will help your child realize that he is much more than a bed wetter. At the first sign of teasing or inappropriate talk, make sure that it is dealt with firmly and justly. Remind them that they too have different strengths and weaknesses.
Encourage some of the older siblings to be helpful and perhaps get them involved in the bedtime routines, leading by example and reminding their sibling to brush their teeth and go to the toilet before climbing into bed or quickly going to the toilet after story time and before lights out. Let them turn it into a game – who gets there first each night is the winner.
After the initial and family conversations, other bedwetting discussions should be initiated by your child. Be open to listen whenever your child wants to talk and don’t single him out or treat him differently than the other children in your house. Remember we all love our children and just want them to be happy.
